Monday Recap: Chaotic Grand Finale

The Lord of Chaos is coming...

Well, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, elves, kobolds, and others, this is it. The end of Chaos Quest. Their prank-filled journey finally comes to a close, just in time for the holidays. And of course, the crew decided to go out with a hilarious ensemble of pranks and battles that will certainly lead into the next campaign.

This story is part 9 of a series. The campaign is complete.
| Previous Campaign | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 |

Campaign of Chaos: Chaotic Grand Finale

Cast of Characters
Jon: Dungeon Master
Shannon: Cressen Juhl, Fallen Aasimar Trickery Cleric of Ralishaz, hates their dad Pholtus
Cody: Myst, Tabaxi Rogue, likes the shiny and shoots the arrows
Quinn: Jakky, Darkling Shadow Monk, sneaks into places to do a murder
Wade: Agne, Kobold Warlock of the Great Old Ones, killed his family for creepy powers
Wes: Magic Man, Drow Transumation Wizard, kind of creepy, teaches magical life lessons

NPC: Artorius, Void Dragon Wyrmling, hangs out with Agne

When we last left the crew, they had finished helping out a Mind Flayer colony on the moon and were beginning construction on their very own moon base. Mr. Lizard was building a huge structure hidden beneath large construction sheets, which the crew didn't know anything about. However, they had heard nasty rumors that dozen of Mind Flayers had already died in its construction. The base would take a few weeks to build, so the crew decided to keep themselves busy with a series of ever-escalating pranks on their companions and each other.

It all started when an arrow Myst had absentmindedly shot into orbit came back down and hit Magic Man in the back during dinner. Magic man responded by transforming into a giant tentacle and slapping Myst across the face. Cressen thought this was hilarious, and modified Magic Man's memory to make him share tons of tentacle pictures with an unsuspecting Agne. Agne, who was using his void dragon's Gravity Breath to send random Mind Flayers into space, was also accosted by Jakky, who used his playing cards to pretend to give a deathly portent of doom to Agne. Agne, unconvinced of the validity of the reading, threw the "tarot" cards into space as well.

Meanwhile, over a game of moon-badminton (which is nearly impossible to play, the shuttlecock goes really high and the boundaries of the court get really out of hand), Mr. Lizard mentioned that he had been receiving stolen magical research from the Yuan-Ti named Ilsa the crew had left back in Auraglow. He had learned that there were many other planets in the multiverse, and nearly all of them have patron Gods. A planet under the control of Pelor would only have humans, a planet under the control of Moradin would only have dwarves, etc. Ahneria was a bit different, in that it was a contested planet, and a large variety of sentient creatures could be found there. There must also be a God for the moon, and Mr. Lizard wanted to figure out who it was.

Over the next few days, the prank war escalated. Myst helped Agne fake his death to trick Jakky into thinking his tarot reading was real. Cressen joined in the fun, making it rain on Jakky's robes and telling him not to be a wet blanket. Jakky, realizing who was behind the deception, proceeded to knock over Myst's water bowl. Meanwhile, Agne decided to turn the Elder Brain's brine pool into a nice bubble bath, which Magic Man immediately went skinny dipping in. He tried to seduce the Elder Brain, but since he was allergic to love, his attempt failed when he swelled up grotesquely.

While Magic Man recovered, Mr. Lizard and Cressen sat down for a game of Chaos-Chess (a terrible game with few rules that usually devolves into who can kill their opponent first using only chess pieces). Mr. Lizard mentioned (while eating Cressen's rook) that if they could find the Moon God and kill/banish them, the moon would be without a patron. The Chaos-God Ralishaz had been banned from setting foot on any world in the material plane, but if the Moon-God was gone, they might be able to summon Ralishaz to help the cause. Cressen was quite excited about this, until Mr. Lizard stabbed them with a queen.

Over at the partially-completed moon base, Myst had responded to the previous pranks by knocking Jakky's water off the table. Jakky tried to retaliate, but everyone was put off by Magic Man following them around getting drunk on blood-and-onion beer. Jakky instead turned to whispering things at Agne right before he fell asleep, and Agne began using the frozen corpses of Mind Flayers as puppets to never appear alone. Cressen decided to bless the engine room of the Skyfortress, making it a monument to Chaos, a place for their Word of Recall spell to return to, and effectively an engine of Chaos.

Giant steps are what you take, walking on the moon

That evening, over a game of Trivial Pursuit (the categories of which were "Mr. Lizard", "Fabulous Dragonborn", "Chaos Sorcerers", "Red Dragonborn of Evil", and "People Using Pseudonyms"), Mr. Lizard laid out his plan. Soon, his big building - a Chaos arena - would be complete. He would use his magic to summon servants of the Moon God, Thoth, until Thoth was annoyed enough to show up himself. Then, they would banish him (without killing him), leaving the moon uncontested. With that, Ralishaz could come forth and the crew would become truly chaotic! Everyone agreed this was a good plan. Mr. Lizard Disintegrated Cressen's game piece.

Jakky, now able to enter the outskirts of this Chaos arena, decided to graffiti it up with "Pholtus was here" memes. Myst gave Cressen a book titled "Gothic Music to Feel Sad To" (by famed musical group My Acidic Romance) but was actually filled with corny romantic ballads by the notoriously cheesy bard Col D. Play. Cressen put it to good use, though, following Magic Man around playing songs from the book to annoy him. Meanwhile, Magic Man tricked Agne into eating super spicy curry, so spicy it made his brain hurt. Agne took his frustration out on Myst by convincing him the moon was made of cheese. Myst saw through the ruse, however, and Agne responded by launching Myst into orbit. There, Myst played poker with frozen Mind Flayers until he came back down. By the end of it, he had lost quite a bit of money.

The arena was nearing completion, and the pranks were only getting worse. Myst took a page out of Agne's book and tried to convince everyone that the moon was actually just a fake room, concealed by an illusion. Cressen used their spiritual weapon to make a laser pointer and distract Myst, while Jakky used his Shadow Step to pull off the ultimate shoulder-tapping prank. Magic Man ended up pranking himself by turning his pet slugs (which he had the whole time) into spiders and then letting them crawl all over him. Agne made the spiders much larger to crush Magic Man, but the odd elf didn't seem to mind in the slightest.

Finally, the day came for the ultimate showdown between the Chaos Crew and the Servants of Thoth. Mr. Lizard played MC to a packed arena, filled with Mind Flayers both aligned with and opposed to chaos. Every minion the crew had collected was there, cheering, and even the Elder Brain had showed up to watch the Chaotic Crew be put in their place.

The first champion summoned forth was a planetar angel called Austinius the 316th. He seemed upset to realize that Mr. Lizard had tricked him into being summoned, but didn't have time enough to do anything before the Chaos Crew attacked. They blasted away with spells, hammers, swords, and arrows at the angel of knowledge. Magic Man summoned a giant fist (with tentacle fingers of course) to slap the angel around, while Myst did backflips and fired arrows from his magic bow.

Jakky used his hammer, Whelm, to smack the angel in the face, and began to draw the support of both sides of the crowd. Because he was covered in ornate robes, the crowd simply began chanting "Blanket!" to cheer him on. Meanwhile, Agne and Artorius attempted to hold the celestial down with their gravity breath and grasping tentacles. It was a very tentacle-filled evening.

Yeah, this guy looks like a real chump.

Finally, Cressen, using their spiritual weapon (in the form of a Mind Flayer the group had dubbed "Gary"), ran the angel through and he discorporated. The crowd cheered and booed, and the crew was lead back into the locker rooms to prep for their next big fight. Blanket had to shake off his adoring fans, and Cressen cast Beacon of Hope to help the party heal up. They also came up with wrestling names to use in the next match. They were as follows:

• Myst: "Rogue"
• Agne: [eldritch muttering]
• Artorius: Bob
• Jakky: Rug Mysterio
• Cressen: Mind Freak
• Magic Man: Underweartaker

A bell rang, and the crew came back into the arena. Mr. Lizard introduced them by their stage names, and most of the crowd cheered. Of course, the Mind Flayers could telepathically tell who the crew was, so the names were more for show. Mr. Lizard began the ritual to summon another creature of Thoth into the arena, and the crew tensed for battle.

This time, two angels appeared, who called themselves Randall and Hogana. Mr. Lizard declared the match a Tag Team battle, and the crew leapt forward.

Hogana immediately rushed into the back lines of the crew to attack Myst, while Randall stayed in the front against Cressen and Jakky. The angels attacked with maces, and could heal each other with a touch. The crew decided to focus on one of them at a time, and try to keep them separated.

Cressen turned the tide of battle by infecting Randall with the terrible disease Slimy Doom. Randall began bleeding out of everywhere, and Hogana tried to rush to save him. However, as she did, she was pummeled to death by hammers, swords, arrows, and magic from the entire crew. The group made quick work of Randall afterwards, ending the fight even more quickly than the first.

The crowd was going wild, and even the stoic Elder Brain seemed to be getting into it. Chaos was infusing the entire stadium, and as the crew left for their inter-match respite they could hear the crowds roaring at their stellar performance.

This time, during the break, Mr. Lizard came down to the locker rooms and gave the crew a pump-up speech. He told them that their next fight would be a big one, and probably would end with Thoth himself showing up. They needed to be on their game! The crew healed up using some potions and Cressen's magic, and got everything prepped to head back out into the arena.

As they returned, the crowd roared. Mr. Lizard had been hyping up the next match, and now the entire arena was on the edge of their seats with anticipation. The Planar Ally spell was cast once again, and this time a resplendent angel was summoned into the ring. Not any angel, though - Capitosus, the Solar of Knowledge, one of the 24 Aspects of Pelor. Mr. Lizard announced him as John Capitosus-ena, which annoyed the celestial. After a quick assessment of the situation, the angel turned invisible, and the match began.

Less chump-like... perhaps we should be afraid instead

The crew cautiously looked around for the celestial, getting into position and preparing attacks in case he reappeared. When he did so, he appeared in a flash of light near the top of the anti-escape dome that covered the ring. He fired down arrows upon the crew, wounding Cressen and Artorius, the two who could clearly fly up and reach him.

The crew began to launch magical attacks and projectiles up towards the angel, but his position and speed were great enough to stop nearly all of the assault. Myst got a lucky shot with his Oathbow, which he used to designate the Solar as his sworn enemy. Finally, Cressen and Arotrius reached the zenith of the arena, only for Capitusus to teleport away, releasing his sword to fight Artorius in midair.

He reappeared in the middle of the ring, where Jakky and Agne had set up camp. Jakky leapt forward, dodging in and out of shadows to strike with Whelm, while Agne tried to restrain the angel and slip away. Magic Man unleashed his giant hand once again, this time grabbing Capitosus and crushing him as best he could. However, the celestial responded to this assault by teleporting away once again, leaving a bright flash that temporarily blinded Jakky.

With a flash of light, he reappeared at the edge of the ring, close enough to try to blind Myst. While his sword fought Artorius high above the arena, he fired off a shot from his magical longbow. Myst dodged, but desperately wanted the longbow for himself. Cressen landed and took a swing with their sword, but not before Capitosus teleported away once more.

The group couldn't keep up with the angel, and Jakky took his chance to throw Whelm once again. He scored a hit so powerful that chaos magic began to swirl around Capitosus, stripping the Solar of his ability to teleport. The enraged celestial responded with a shot from his longbow, and although Jakky managed to catch the arrow, it exploded in a burst of light that slew Jakky on the spot. The crowd gasped. Blanket had been destroyed!

However, even with such a victory, it was too late for Capitosus. Agne restrained him with grasping tentacles once again, and Magic Man's giant fist slammed into him. Without the ability to teleport, the angel had no way to escape the assault. Myst fired off an arrow that nearly killed him, and Magic Man finished the job with a blast of fire. The longbow that Myst had coveted went up in flames, and the sword and celestial disappeared in a flash of light.

The crowd went wild, and Mr. Lizard descended on the ring. He told everyone that the final match was coming up soon, and the crew had only a few minutes to prepare. To help them out, he cast the Catnap spell on the group, allowing them to rest and recover in only a few minutes. Meanwhile, he brought Jakky back to life. The chaotic nature of his magic, however, meant Jakky returned as a High Elf instead of a Darkling. The crowd ooh-ed and aah-ed as Jakky stood up from underneath the blanket, revealing a lithe and beautiful high elf form. The crowd was shocked: their hero, Blanket, was a gorgeous high elf! Jakky's fan club doubled immediately.

Just as the rest of the crew was waking up, Mr. Lizard got on the microphone once again. Thoth himself was coming, and it was time to fight! Mr. Lizard flew up to the top of the arena, preparing a spell to weaken the God down to a manageable form for the Crew to fight.

Sure enough, the God of the Moon, Patron of Knowledge, Thoth, showed up and looked around the arena a bit. He was a small, robed man with glasses, and seemed worried about all these angels being summoned here to the moon and not returning. Mr. Lizard immediately blasted him with a terrible spell to weaken him, and the crew leapt into action one last time.

Thoth calmly walked over the Jakky, while causing terrible illusions to appear to Myst and frighten him. Jakky threw the hammer at him, but it harmlessly passed through the God. The group was worried for a moment, but fortunately Cressen realized that Thoth had merely cast a Mislead spell as a duplicate of him appeared next to Agne. The crew quickly figured out which Thoth was an illusion, and resumed their assault.

He doesn't look like a God...

Cressen, hoping to get direct support from their God Ralishaz, prayed for divine intervention to help them against Thoth. After all, stopping Thoth would allow the God of Chaos to return to the mortal realm. However, there was no answer to Cressen's prayer. Instead, Mr. Lizard shot down a Harm spell, claiming that he was all the help they needed. Meanwhile, Agne began dispelling the nightmarish illusions affecting the crew's senses.

Thoth used his mind to grapple Artorius, while casting another nightmare illusion at Jakky. He tried to confuse Magic Man with a spell, but Magic Man's behavior barely changed. He stood there for a few seconds and then went back to blasting spells. Myst loosed an arrow charged with magic (since now Thoth was his favored enemy as well), and the Confusion spell ended.

Magic Man sent a blast of fire at Thoth, and chaos magic caused the two of them to switch vision for a moment. Magic Man closed his eyes, blinding the God, while through Thoth's vision Magic Man saw the true form of Mr. Lizard. However, Thoth quickly dispelled the effect and caused more frightening illusions. Jakky, who had been using his hammer Whelm to great effect, was now grappled by Thoth's mind. But the God was starting to weaken, and Mr. Lizard reminded the crew they needed to take him alive.

Myst decided to look under the staged arena and pulled out a Vorpal Sword, which seemed like just the thing to conk Thoth on the head with. But before he could, Artorius took a bite out of the God that was infused with the cold of the void. Thoth collapsed, barely on the edge of life.

Mr. Lizard rushed down, demanding an object, any object, to put Thoth into before he recovered. Magic Man threw out the Wand of Wonder, an artifact of ultimate Chaos. Mr. Lizard shrugged, then put Thoth into his Chaotic prison.

With that, the arena crowd burst into applause, even the lawful Mind Flayers cheering for the victory of the Crew. Cressen was very excited - they were going to summon Ralishaz, the God of Chaos! Mr. Lizard smiled, and then exploded into a mass of chaotic energy.

The crew was shocked, but the swirling form quickly coalesced back down into the familiar Red Dragonborn form. Mr. Lizard revealed that he had chosen to become the avatar of Ralishaz not too long ago, and now that the moon was God-free, the Lord of Chaos could return and get to work conquering reality. But first, Ralishaz could grant the wishes of those who had served him so faithfully.

The entire crew suddenly felt themselves surging with power. Their abilities were sharper, they gained new and better magic, and their gear was decked out in chaotic magical bling. Cressen, who had long prayed for Ralishaz to grant them the power to go to the Nine Hells and rescue their mother, was sent off immediately. Jakky, unpleased with his elven body, was transformed into a Darkling Elder. Myst got a pile of chocolate-milk-making goblets and shiny objects, and Agne and Artorius gained supercharged magic and became near-immortal.

Finally, since someone had to go back in time and make sure the skyfortress was built, Magic Man was sent back to when the Mind Flayers were first colonizing the moon. They asked him who he was, and he told them he was Magic Man, here to place a huge order.

As chaotic homunculi rained down from the moon towards Ahneria, Mr. Lizard's plan finally came to fruition. And if he isn't stopped, the world, or reality itself, will turn completely into chaos.

(Evil Laughter)

Well, that's it! the Campaign of Chaos is complete!

Of course, this and Dragonborn Quest are both setting up for the next campaign, but with the holidays coming up I don't think we'll have much time to play until 2019. Maybe the blog will be back by then! Who knows? Not me (yet)!

But the massive amount of funding Kreev found at the end of Dragonborn Quest will allow him to fund the search for the greatest heroes known in Ahneria, and then send them on a whirlwind adventure to stop the forces of Chaos raining down on Ahneria. Of course, I'm already getting started on the prep work, but we won't see recaps for that until next year.

Thanks for reading!

Monday Recap: To the Moon!

Classic moon shot.

What's this?? A Monday Recap?? Oh yes.

After all of this Valley exploration gaming, we finally got together to play one of the remaining monthly story games. There are actually a few of those still happening, though I'm only running one of them right now.

Anyway, this ended up being a super-fun game for the chaos crew. Also, it ended up being my first foray into Science Fantasy, a staple of D&D going back to the Barrier Peaks. It was pretty fun!

This story is part 8 of a series. The campaign is complete.
| Previous Campaign | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 |

Campaign of Chaos: To the Moon!

Cast of Characters
Jon: Dungeon Master
Shannon: Cressen Juhl, Fallen Aasimar Trickery Cleric of Ralishaz, hates their dad Pholtus
Cody: Myst, Tabaxi Rogue, likes the shiny and shoots the arrows
Quinn: Jakky, Darkling Shadow Monk, sneaks into places to do a murder
Wade: Agne, Kobold Warlock of the Great Old Ones, killed his family for creepy powers
Wes: Magic Man, Drow Transumation Wizard, kind of creepy, teaches magical life lessons

NPC: Artorius, Void Dragon Wyrmling, hangs out with Agne

When we last left the crew, they had gathered an arsenal of chaos-infused weaponry from an order of monks devoted to keeping the magic items away from the world. Jakky ended up with the Goblin-made throwing hammer Whelm, Anna got a greatsword called Blackrazor, and Mr. Lizard got a trident called Wave. They returned to their skyfortress, and Mr. Lizard suggested they head into space.

As the skyfortress lifted off from above Garton, the crew was shocked and unprepared for the experience of leaving the planet. Jakky and Agne, used to living underground or in shadows, were very upset by this turn of events. Magic Man was convinced they were growing in size, since the city and country below them were shrinking. Cressen watched the stars, and Myst had enough of this and decided to take a nap.

After a short time, they adjusted their direction and approached the moon. The surface shown brightly, causing the light-sensitive Jakky to shrink back in repulsion. Mr. Lizard suggested that he inspect this side of the moon, and the crew take the dark side for Jakky's sake. They were looking for signs of life, or a place to build an awesome moon base.

Mr. Lizard leapt out of the ship, floating down to the surface as if he had cast Feather Fall on himself. The group was very impressed, and realized they were all under the effect of the spell. They flew to the dark side of the moon and leapt out of the ship themselves, posing as they slowly descended. Their landing site was a strange structure they had seen from the air, which they were quite curious about.

(At this point, the players were very worried about being able to breathe on the moon. After I assured them they could, they asked how. I asked them if their characters would really question the presence of an atmosphere when they had lived their entire lives on the surface of a planet. Sometimes, you have to get the players to trust you, and using the story and world to do so is a great method.)

Classic.

The group landed in front of the strange domed structure, which was made entirely of steel and had strange lights coming out of it. Behind them, the skyfortress descended, piloted by the many lackeys they had collected over their journey. They discussed what to do, all while continuing to hold their poses. However, before they could decide, the doors before them slid open.

Stumbling out of the door came a creature they recognized from stories back on Ahneria: a Mind Flayer. Agne, having encountered some of these creatures as a Kobold, was immediately on the defensive. However, the creature seemed to be expecting them, particularly Magic Man. It asked them to follow it into the building, claiming they were to meet with the leader of the Mind Flayer colony. Cressen, who was wearing a helm that blocked telepathy, was confused but followed the group.

They entered the building, being lead through steel tunnels dotted with glass windows. The group had never seen a building made entirely of steel before, and were quite impressed. Myst, using his chaos powers, realized that they had powerful magic here that could travel through the stars and even possibly through time. Magic Man transformed into an octopus and sat on Cressen's head to try to convince the Mind Flayers to like them and give them fun goodies.

The Mind Flayer explained that about 700 years ago, Magic Man had appeared to their colony and ordered a ship. The ship would be known as the skyfortress, and was to be buried on an island where a bunch of shark-elephant demons would appear. In return, Magic Man had brought materials for the ship and humanoids the Mind Flayers could use as slaves.

Break that classic timeline

The group was very confused by this, especially Magic Man. However, Agne suggested that perhaps some of the time-ravel technology the Mind Flayers use might send magic Man back in time at some point. That would allow him to place the order for the skyfortress without remembering doing so, because he hadn't done it yet. They started to discuss it further, but the Mind Flayer stopped as they arrived at the chambers of the Mind Flayer leader.

Inside, they sat at a large round table around a brine pool, eating the food that Magic Man had recommended for them 700 years ago when they would arrive. From the brine pool, a massive brain the size of a wagon rose up and began addressing them via telepathy. It called itself Orunmila, and spoke as if speaking for the entire colony. Its telepathy was so powerful that even Cressen, wearing a telepathy-blocking helmet, could hear the being speak.

The brain told them about the Mind Flayer (or Illithid, as they called themselves) colony, how they longed to explore the stars and were building spaceships, and how their studies had borne much interesting knowledge and technology. They had foreseen the arrival of the Chaos Crew, thanks to Magic Man's long-ago arrival, and were willing to help the group build their own moon base. They even knew the ritual to turn Jakky into a Darkling Elder, and wanted to share it. But they needed help with something first.

The colony was mining the moon for construction materials, using their slaves as manual labor. Things were progressing smoothly, until the slaves formed a pact with an eldritch entity to rise up against their masters. The slaves were transformed into mindless husks, immune to the psychic powers of the Illithids. Their leader, a being known as The Uncouth, retained some intelligence, and began to lead a resistance against the colony. The crew, being able to effectively fight creatures immune to psychic powers, were quite a boon to Orunmila.

Classic and sexy

The group decided to take up the offer, and the Illithid that lead them into the building now lead the out again. They saw their skyfortress was being moved into a dock-like area, with their many minions still on board. With a bit of a further walk, they arrived at the mine entrance, a dark tunnel leading down into the core of the moon. Their guide bid them farewell, and they began to descend.

As they entered the tunnel, Magic Man noticed figures hiding in the darkness in front of them. Myst casually shot one with an arrow, and the former cultists rushed forward. They had been horribly deformed by their servitude to the eldritch evil, now sporting six arms, blank white eyes, and far too many teeth. One rushed forward, and in a flurry of claws and teeth, tore into Myst with terrible fury.

The group disposed of the attacker, reformed and began their own assault, with Magic Man and Cressen unleashing arcane and divine magic from the rear while Myst and Jakky used their ranged weapons to strike the creatures from afar. Agne and Artorius, however, unleashed their new combination of magical effects to keep the cultists in place: grasping black tentacles combined with Artorius' Gravity Breath. The aberrations couldn't do so much as take a step forward while the restraining magic held them down. After that, the crew made quick work of them.

However, Cressen had been affected by Chaos magic during the battle, and began attacking Magic Man. Magic Man was surprised, but defended quite well until Cressen came to their senses. Cressen felt bad about attacking a fellow Chaos follower, and healed the wounds Magic Man had sustained from the spat. Magic Man was his usual incomprehensible self, and told Cressen there was no bad blood between them.

The group pressed forward, fighting through a large swarm of cultists that had transformed into stunted, smaller monsters with similar attributes as the entrance guards. The creatures seemed like mindless husks, no longer the humanoid workers that they must have once been. They simply seemed to attack anything that entered the mine and wasn't as monstrous as themselves. Though the Chaos crew was evil, they weren't anything like the monsters these beings had become.

Magnificent class

The crew finally found themselves in a sanctuary of sorts, with makeshift pillars lining a hall leading to an area carved out of different stone than the whitish-grey moon rock. The stone had many different carved images and words in it, in an ancient language that only Agne could decipher. However, before the crew could approach this strange slab, a massive cultist lurched into view.

Its eyes and teeth resembled the creatures they had fought before, but it was as tall as an ogre and had weirdly translucent hairless skin. As it caught sight of the group, it turned and charged towards them. It whirled its arms wildly, catching most of the group in its slamming attacks. The crew scattered, moving to unleash spells and weapons on the monster from their best location. Cressen, wielding their giant sword, fought toe-to -toe with the monster, and ended up taking the brunt of its crushing blows.

The crew pumped every attack they could into the beast, and soon enough it began to fall. In its final moments, Myst unleashed an arrow from his bow imbued with the power of magical energy. The arrow struck the monster directly in the head, causing it to sway, then topple to the ground. As it collapsed, Chaos magic caused it to grow a full head of very stylish hair.

Agne rushed forward to study this strange map, and discovered it was a record of an even more ancient civilization on the moon. They had created strange, soulless soldiers that could be infused with magic to fight. The group was interested in this idea, wondering what might happen if they infused the bodies with Chaos magic. Jakky and Ange even discovered a hidden passage that might lead down into the storerooms of the ancient civilization.

However, at that moment, the mine began to collapse, as if someone were trying to sabotage the group's mission. They turned and hightailed it back towards the entrance, dodging rocks and trying to figure out the best way back. Unfortunately, after hitting several dead ends, the collapse settled and they were trapped in a small section of cave. Magic Man shrugged and cast a spell to teleport them back to the skyfortress. They hadn't found The Uncouth yet, meaning their mission wasn't over yet, but the group needed to recoup and heal their wounds.

Wait, that's no moon! Classic.

But as they rested, the side of the ship began to tear open, and another of the giant hairless monsters broke through the side of the ship. Next to it, walking directly through the walls of the ship like a ghost, was a horrible creature with deformed limbs and stretched and twisted skin, holding a staff and peering at the group with those same blank eyes. The crew leapt up, grabbing their gear to attack these intruders.

Myst loosed a shot at the creature they assumed must be The Uncouth, but at the last instant the two aberrations swapped places. The hulking brute took the attack, and the cult leader was safely outside the walls of the skyfortress. Not only that, but Myst was then forcibly teleported right next to the huge creature by the cult leader, causing a wave of psychic energy that made the group clutch their heads in pain. Agne, also a devotee of an eldritch entity, actually managed to avoid the brunt of the attack and turn it back on the monsters.

The brutish beast reached forward to wail on Myst, but Cressen reached forward and unleashed a Banishment spell on it, sending it to a demiplane away from the fight. Meanwhile, Jakky and Magic Man leapt out of the hole that had been created in the side of the ship and began attacking The Uncouth. A volley of hammers, fire rays, and arrows quickly killed the cultist, and their task was complete. They only had two issues.

First, chaos magic had caused them to think this dead cultist was somebody other than the Uncouth. They kept guessing different people, but they couldn't figure out who they had just killed. It didn't really change their plans, though. They still needed to return to the colony and let them know about the mine collapse.

Second, the Banishment spell ended, and the brute returned. Fortunately, Agne and Artorius unleashed waves of magic on it until the crew could thoroughly demolish the beast.

The group went back to the colony, which was in a bit of disarray. Apparently, chaos magic had seeped into the colony and caused nearly 100 Illithids to abandon the colony and join the forces of chaos. Orunmila was annoyed, and they asked the crew to take the blueprints to a moon base and leave. The crew decided they had seen enough for now, and went back to the skyfortress.

A few hours later, Mr. Lizard showed up. Apparently, the other side of the moon was totally empty.

Name a classier trio. I'll wait.

And that's the game! We had a blast with all the different chaos effects that popped up during the game. I use this Huge Magic Surge table, if you're interested in doing so.

I think Chaos Quest will only have one or two more games before it's over. It's hard to top the moon, but I'm going to try. Then, we'll get to do a high-level quest resolving all of the chaos this game has caused! After all, they've killed quite a lot of people.

Thanks for reading!

Monday Recap: Tools of the Trade

Ah, chaos magic. Is there anything it can't do?

Chaos Quest is back! We had a much faster turnaround this time. Not sure why, other than people just being available at the right time. And it was our first game with all the characters present in a while, too. I decided to use this opportunity to run the group through White Plume Mountain, a classic D&D module.

With a few chaotic changes, of course.

This story is part 7 of a series. The campaign is complete.
| Previous Campaign | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 |

Campaign of Chaos: Tools of the Trade

Cast of Characters
Jon: Dungeon Master
Shannon: Cressen Juhl, Fallen Aasimar Trickery Cleric of Ralishaz, hates their dad Pholtus
Cody: Myst, Tabaxi Rogue, likes the shiny and shoots the arrows
Quinn: Jakky, Darkling Shadow Monk, sneaks into places to do a murder
Wade: Agne, Kobold Warlock of the Great Old Ones, killed his family for creepy powers
Cait: Anna, Human Brute Fighter, pretty ditzy but very strong and interested in chaos
Wes: Magic Man, Drow Transumation Wizard, kind of creepy, teaches magical life lessons
NPC: Artorius, Void Dragon Wyrmling, hangs out with Agne

When we last left the crew, they had completely ransacked the city of Garton, gaining tons of followers and destroying several key figures in the city's system of law and order. They had just rejoined their leader, Mr. Lizard (currently wearing a giant robot suit that caused most of the damage), and were about to head back to their skyfortress. However, an aspect of the God Pholtus (Cressen's dad) had showed up to punish them for their actions.

Pholtus began by offering Cressen a chance to turn away from the deceptions of Mr. Lizard and join the path to justice. Cressen told Pholtus to shove it, and the crew went wild. The god-like being sighed, and told Mr. Lizard to take off the ridiculous costume so they could fight properly.

Mr. Lizard shrugged, and told everyone to yell out a random place. The entire crew, including the allies and lackeys they had picked up along the way, yelled different locations. With a wink, Mr. Lizard cast a powerful teleport spell, shuffling the locations everyone had said and sending them away from the battle field. Unfortunately for him, Jakky had picked this exact location (just 3 feet to the left), and Mr. Lizard ended up directly in front of the Deity.

Meanwhile, everyone else was teleported off to various places in the multiverse. One of Anna's lackeys was sent to the center of the planet, and died instantly. Anna herself was sent to the living room of a lackey they picked up named Chet. Chet was a fairly boring and normal guy, and Anna just grabbed a beer and relaxed for a bit. Cressen and Agne were sent to terrible places that shouldn't be mentioned in polite company.

Myst was sent to the roof of a school building, where a holographic schoolgirl from Magic Man's dating sim was waiting to confess to him. Magic Man ended up at a sunflower seed shop, so he bought some seeds. Jakky was sent to a dark palace where he had to fight and kill a roguish phantom in front of an eldritch king. The "king" gave Jakky a message: "Tell him he is doing well." Jakky didn't understand and didn't bother remembering it.

After about 10 minutes, the crew and most of their lackeys appeared in front of a huge mountain, which had white smoke pluming out of it. Built into the mountainside was a massive temple, carved with images of monks and holy men.

A voice echoed in their heads, the voice of Mr. Lizard: "Hey kids! I'm having a tough time fighting this guy. There's 3 powerful chaos weapons and a wand of pure chaos sealed away in the back of this temple. Mind grabbing them for me? You can keep the stuff once I'm done with it!" The entire party readily agreed.

The OG Dungeon of the Mad Mage

They stormed the temple, killing any monks in their path. The monks were well-trained in magic and combat, wielding swords that glowed with pure radiance. But the overwhelming power of the chaos crew was unstoppable. They cut their way through these monks, learning that this was a Temple of the Knights of the Order, a group dedicated to law and justice. Not that they needed another reason to murder them, of course.

At the end of the temple, the monks began calling out for Javala Naas, their chosen leader, to smite the heroes. She appeared, wielding lightning and soaring through the air. However, the chaos crew combined their powers and dealt blow after blow, bringing her down with rotting energy, magical arrows and knives, and a bolt of their own lightning.

With the chosen one defeated, the group pressed onward. There were still a ton of monks left to kill, but they decided to leave it to their allies and lackeys (which, as a bonus, meant they didn't have to split up the treasure).

They entered the deepest sanctum and came up against a magical wall of force, behind which sat a sphinx. She seemed awfully bored, and told the group they needed to answer a riddle in order to pass. Myst and Magic Man, still giddy from their collective dating sim experience, decided to flirt with the sphinx instead.

She seemed coy at first, but they learned that she had been captured by the Knights of the Order and contracted to guard this location. With little convincing, they managed to turn her over to the ways of chaos and got to answer a much easier riddle to bypass the magical wall. Once that was done, the Sphinx ran off to join the other lackeys in kicking some monks' butts.

The crew carried on, bypassing some acidic green slime with the clever use of rope and flight. They came to an intersection, where one door was very clearly trapped and optional, and the other door was plain and lead further into the temple.

They went through the trapped door and were immediately locked into a small room.

Hanging above them were several glass orbs. They tried breaking the orbs, revealing false keys to the door and various treasure or threats. They defeated an air elemental, Magic Man nearly swallowed an acidic Grey Ooze, and Cressen obliterated some living shadows with his unholy radiance. They finally found the real key in the very last orb they checked, as well as a strange magic ring. Myst snatched it and put it on.

Of course, the great magic powers of the ring were just a prank, which the crew appreciated despite being the victims of it. It seemed the chaos weapons and wand were not the only chaotic items the Knights had stashed away in this vault.

They returned to the un-trapped door. Inside were several stitched-together flesh golems, who presented a riddle for the group to solve. Jakky figured it out almost immediately, and one of the golems joined the crew as a lackey. Due to the number on the golem's chest, they dubbed him Lackey Number 9. In reality he was number 15 or 16.

The next few rooms presented little challenge for the group thanks to their ability to sit in Myst's portable hole and fly through the rooms, carried by Cressen or Artorius. They arrived at a tunnel that lead into a magically darkened room with a human-sized box in it. Jakky, with his blindsight, was the only one who could tell anything about the room. He crept in cautiously, and was surprised when an undead human came out of the box: a vampire!

BLEEHHH!

The vampire attacked ruthlessly, but Jakky was fast enough to avoid damage while calling back for help. Cressen used his holy symbol to Turn the vampire, Jakky unleashed a flurry of blows that stunned him, and Magic Man lit up their foe with a Faerie Fire spell. After a few rounds of arrows and magic from Myst and Agne and a massive blow from Anna's sword, the vampire was history, vanishing into thin mist.

Under his coffin, they found a huge haul of gold and items, notably a throwing hammer crafted by goblins that Jakky picked up. The hammer told Jakky its name was Whelm, one of the magic chaos weapons held by the Knights of the Order. It was made to kill dwarves and giants, and seemed eager to help Jakky and the crew.

The crew made their way back to the magical wall, and decided to turn towards the next hallway. Along the way, Whelm told Jakky about a secret passage under a nearby water grate, and he seemed interested in following it. With Anna's help, they pried the grate up and found a door hidden under the flow of the water.

Inside, there was what appeared to be a wizard's workshop, guarded by two beefy red-skinned horned men. Myst dropped down, turned invisible with the aid of Cressen's magic, and slinked across the room to a pedestal where a wand was waiting in a glass case. He expertly slid the wand into his portable hole and made his way out without making a sound.

The group examined the wand, which appeared to be the wand of pure chaos Mr. Lizard had requested. They decided to give it to Magic Man, the wizard of the group. He took it gladly, ready to put the wand's power to use. They pressed forward, now halfway done with their task.

In the next room, they were attacked by a pair of seaweed monsters. Magic Man immediately tried using the wand, and (as chaos goes), nothing happened. However, magic Man believed that the most epic magic of all time was happening before his eyes.

Meanwhile, Jakky used Whelm to deal massive blows to the monsters, and in a fit of chaos, the hammer summoned another one of the Chaos weapons to aid the group. Anna grabbed the massive shining black sword, which called itself Blackrazor, from the air and used it to cleave the monsters in twain.

Now with added Chaos!

The group kept moving forward, opening a series of thick stone doors and entering a magical bubble in the middle of a boiling geothermal lake. They could see their final prize: a trident sitting atop of a pile of treasure, guarded by a massive crab monster. The group steeled themselves for battle.

However, Cressen decided to simply Polymorph the crab into a harmless seahorse. They plopped him into some water, grabbed the trident, and went on their way. The Trident's name was Wave, and although Myst learned about the weapon's properties, none of the crew was able to properly use it. They decided to save it for Mr. Lizard. This was a bit opposed to Wave's wishes, who was worried about a prophecy made that said it would kill a God of Chaos. The group said Mr. Lizard wasn't a God, so no worries.

Speaking of which, Mr. Lizard hadn't called them back yet, despite the crew gathering all the weapons and wand. They decided to go see how their lackeys were doing in the meantime, and headed back out towards the temple.

However, they were stopped on the way by the wizard and the two beefy red-skinned men. The wizard declared that he was the keeper of the Knights of the Order's vault, and he wouldn't dare let a group of miscreants leave with his treasures. He ordered his bodyguards to attack!

However, Myst and Magic Man were still in the mood to recruit some lackeys. They stopped one of the bodyguards by flirting with him, then attempting to convince him to join their cause. The Horned man seemed interested, but his companion wasn't. Anna, Agne, Cressen, Jakky, and Artorius all began to stab, bite, and fry the bodyguard with magic.

The bodyguard proved to be a powerful foe, however. He placed a Wall of Fire among his attackers, dealing out burns to everyone except Jakky, who leapt out of the way. Meanwhile, the other bodyguard was being seduced by Myst, who leapt through the wall of flames without so much as a burnt whisker.

Finally, just as Jakky stabbed the violent bodyguard to death, Magic Man pulled out his ultimate weapon: the sunflower seeds he had purchased earlier that day. By the power of chaos, that was enough to convince the man to join the crew, and he threw himself at Myst and Magic Man.

The keeper of the vault was flabbergasted, but not for long. Anna ran him through with Blackrazor, absorbing his soul into the blade. The group cleaned themselves up and went back to collect their lackeys, just in time for Mr. Lizard to summon them back via teleportation.

They, and all their lackeys new and old, appeared in the skyfortress. Mr. Lizard was slightly battered, but he said he had managed to win against the aspect of Pholtus. Everyone, especially Cressen, was quite impressed. The group asked what they were supposed to do next.

Mr. Lizard smiled. "How do you feel about outer space?"

WE GON GO TO DA MOON

We stopped there for the night. I have to say this was one of the best games so far in Chaos Quest. Just giving this group a location to explore and demolish is loads of fun. It's particularly useful that I don't really plan too much story or event structure ahead of time. They ended up skipping a 3rd of he dungeon because of their chaos magic... how do you plan for that??

The answer is: go with the flow, play the world, not the game, and don't be afraid to let your players seduce an efreeti.

Thanks for reading!

Monday Recap: Chaos Comes to Garton

Also giant robots. Don't ask.

We finally got back into that good old chaotic swing again. And things went... interestingly. As usual.

I also had my second Valley of the Lords game this weekend, so check below for a short recap of that as well. Scroll down!

This story is part 6 of a series. The campaign is complete.
| Previous Campaign | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 |

Campaign of Chaos: Chaos Comes to Garton

Cast of Characters
Jon: Dungeon Master
Shannon: Cressen Juhl, Fallen Aasimar Trickery Cleric of Ralishaz, hates their dad Pholtus
Cody: Myst, Tabaxi Rogue, likes the shiny and shoots the arrows
Quinn: Jakky, Darkling Shadow Monk, sneaks into places to do a murder
Wade: Agne, Kobold Warlock of the Great Old Ones, killed his family for creepy powers
Cait: Anna, Human Brute Fighter, pretty ditzy but very strong and interested in chaos
NPC: Artorius, Void Dragon Wyrmling, hangs out with Agne

When we last left the self-proclaimed "Oopsie-Doodle Crew", they had just finished clearing out a skyfortress for their personal use. Their leader, Mr. Lizard the Chaos Wizard, had discovered a massive controllable suit of armor (is it basically a mech? Yes) and declared the group was heading to the big city of Garton in order to cause chaos on an even bigger scope.

To amuse themselves while they traveled, the crew took to playing pranks on each other in the name of chaos. They made Lucy, their "pet" sharkephant, drink hallucinogenic beer and wander around in a daze. Myst gave Magic Man a hug, and it turned out Magic Man was allergic to True Love and it made him swell up terribly. Jakky tricked Agne into drinking his urine, which Agne shrugged off with a vow for revenge later.

They arrived in the skies above Garton just as the sun was setting, allowing Jakky to move freely without his cloaks. He decided to keep them, however, just so he wouldn't explode accidentally. Below them, the largest trade city on the western half of the continent glittered like a jewel, alight with torches and still bustling with people.

Mr. Lizard jumped in his monstrous suit of armor and grinned. He quickly gave the group a list of suggestions to creating the most possible chaos, including a tip to pick up some lackeys while they were down there (it worked for him, after all). He cast Fly on Myst and Jakky before jumping off the cloud platform surrounding the skyfortress.

Agne, Artorius, Lucy, and Mr. Lizard's Demon Elf Archer friend decided to head to one part of the city, while Cressen, Jakky, and Myst went the other way. They decided that if they wanted to reunite, they would just follow the trail of chaos. Magic Man, still swollen from Myst's hug, stayed back to watch the fortress.

Cressen, Jakky, and Myst swooped down above the royal palace, where they could cause plenty of chaos by taking out the king. Myst wanted to explode the palace, so he had brought the most explosive-looking thing he could pry off the wall of the skyfortress in his Portable Hole. Together, the three of them unloaded it and dropped it onto the palace roof. It sat there for just a moment, before exploding and blowing a large hole in the building.

This got the attention of a human walking nearby, a strong fighter dressed in a bunny leotard and heavy armor named Anna. Anna was looking for something interesting and fun to do, and she thought this explosion would probably be cool to check out. She used her magic sword to cut a hole in the palace walls, letting herself in, and proceeded to find the three figures who had now entered the palace.

Anna: proving the effectiveness of chainmail bikinis

Meanwhile, those three figures had made their way to the King's chambers, using Jakky's instincts about the layout of palaces from all of his previous heists. The door was locked, of course, but just as they were about to open it, Anna came running down the hallway with a bunch of palace guards in tow. The group decided to take care of the approaching danger before checking out the door.

Fortunately, the palace guards were no match for them, and the group decided to have a bit of fun. By design or by chaos magic, they stumbled upon the Hallway of Teleporting Doors (and Band Practice space) and proceeded to have a zany chase sequence in and out of doors while groovy music played (for reference). The only thing keeping the situation from being cartoonish was the wanton slaughter of the king's guards.

After the slaughter had ceased, they returned to the locked door and popped it open to reveal a magically blank wall. They could pass through it, but light and sound could not. The group cautiously pressed forward, passing through the barrier.

Inside, they saw a finely-decorated room that served as chambers and safe house for the King of Garton. Sure enough, the King was there, guarded by a tiefling woman dressed in dark leather and carrying daggers, and sitting next to a small girl who had her eyes closed. The girl and the King were surrounded by a magical field of force. The group immediately recognized the tiefling woman - they had disrupted her wedding only a week or so ago.

The tiefling was quite upset about the matter, especially with Cressen. She asked them why they were there, and Myst deflected the question by pulling one of her wedding gifts out of his portable hole. As expected, this only served to irk the woman more, and she drew blades against the group.

The party had only just drawn their swords when she rushed forward, blades drawn, and stabbed Cressen deep into his side. Not only were the blades fast and accurate, they were poisoned! One glimpse of seeing the tiefling move and fight made the group decide to perform a hasty retreat. They rushed back out of the room and into the hallway, watching the door close behind them.

Anyone want to die today?

Back out in the hallway, the group decided to make due by picking out some of the beat-up guards as lackeys. Anna found a guy who seemed interested in her physically, and Myst located Chet, who was basically the worst at being chaotic. He sometimes waited to pay his taxes until the last minute. Jakky found a good chaos candidate, but immediately killed him on a whim. That's chaos.

The group tried to find the palace treasury, but instead found a huge vault containing fancy clothing. Such items were worth quite a bit of money anyway, and the party scooped them into Myst's portable hole. They kept the choicest pieces for themselves, and left the palace decked out in fine garb.

Outside, they saw Mr. Lizard destroying buildings in his huge armor suit. There was no sign of the others, but surely chaos was abound. The screams of citizens could be heard across the city.

Myst insisted they check out the famous Garton Thieves' Guild next, and fortunately Anna knew a passage into the fabled undercity. After journeying through a sewer grate and down a wooden elevator-like contraption, they arrived at the tower housing the Thieves' Guild. The thieves there surprised to see such well-dressed guests arriving in the sewers while chaos was erupting above ground.

The guards of the tower said their leader, Romero Calabra, had retreated to the Guild sanctuary and ordered the commoners in the undercity to remain in their homes until the chaos had passed. If the crew wanted to meet him and convert him to their cause, they'd have to travel through the elite thieves' guild gauntlet, a maze of traps that protected the sanctuary. With little else to try, the crew agreed.

They passed through the tower and entered the tunnels beneath the undercity, built on the remains of a deep dwarvish mine thousands of years ago. Cressen used his divine magic to locate traps throughout the hallway, making the first couple of challenges nearly obsolete. Myst was able to easily dodge the crossbow bolts and whirling scythes, and his allies just sat in his portable hole while he maneuvered through the obstacles.

Like this, but one of them has a half-angel and a half-naked fighter in their pocket

They reached the final trap, which was a huge corridor of whirling blades, smashing pillars, and a magic rune that was too long for Myst to dash through. The group got out of the portable hole and pressed forward individually, trying to reach the end of the hall. Myst, Cressen, and Anna attacked the whirling blades until they were broken, then the group moved on to the smashing pillars. Jakky managed to make it all the way to the end of the hallway, revealing the magic rune to be a fear-based effect that sent him dashing back into the pillars.

The crew kept pushing forward, and finally Anna reached the rune. Not understanding what was going on, she simply cut it in half with her sword, and the effect ended. A secret door behind the rune opened, and they passed into the inner sanctum of the Thieves' Guild.

Inside, a motley assortment of thieves greeted them. One of them, a suave-looking gentleman, approached the crew and introduced himself as Romero Calabra. The crew easily convinced him to join forces with Mr. Lizard, since Calabra had been present at the last major battle Mr. Lizard had been at.

They also recruited a burly, armored man with a mouse on his shoulder, as well as a zany-looking fellow with a top hat and colored hair. With their new lackeys in tow, they left the thieves' guild sanctuary through a secret exit and appeared on the now-flooded bank of the Mane River. It turned out their chaos magic had caused the entire river to flood while they were underground.

Agne, who had been flying around Garton on his Void Dragon Artorius, saw the crew on the shore of the river and swooped down. He was impressed that they had collected so many lackeys and flooded the river. He pointed out a tavern suspended hundreds of feet above the city that was his doing. He had gotten separated from the Demon Elf and Lucy, and found this group.

Meanwhile, Mr. Lizard in his giant mechanical suit was using buildings to crush other buildings, and having a great time with it. Most of the High District of the city, where the nobility lived, was completely in ruins.

The crew decided to check out the headquarters of the city watch, where they could probably cause the most chaos. When they arrived at the old clock tower (affectionately known as Dethklok) that was used as the watch HQ, they found it surrounded by a protective ring of fire. Fortunately, Myst was able to ferry most of the group over the flames, while Cressen and Agne just flew over.

Inside the tower, they grabbed some loot that was lying around and searched the area. It was unsurprisingly empty, with the guards off dealing with the huge armored monster in the city. They reasoned there still must've been someone creating that wall, though, so they explored until they came to the uppermost floor of the tower, with large magical gears spinning above them.

They saw an old man talking to Floris, the Captain of the City Watch and a longstanding enemy of their cause. He tried to speak calmly to them but the group was eager to beat him up, and he called out to his ally in the rafters, a barbarian woman (this would be a former PC, Runa) wielding a huge sword. She leapt down and the two groups met in combat.

Floris says: get your hands off my city!

Anna rushed forward to attack the barbarian, but her greatsword was enchanted with holy magic, and Anna took a massive blow straight away. Meanwhile, Agne unleashed a swarm of Evard's Black Tentacles on Floris, restraining and pummeling him. Cressen flew forward to attack the barbarian as well, while Jakky nimbly dodged through the tentacles to stab at Floris.

While the old man cowered in the corner, Myst drew his Oathbow and made Floris his sworn enemy. Arrows began to fly, alongside spells and swords. Cressen took a couple hits from the barbarian before a spout of chaos magic turned her into a Fireball. An actively exploding Fireball. The threat of the barbarian was gone, but now the crew found themselves in an awfully crispy position.

Fortunately, Floris had only just managed to stumble out of the tentacles when Myst's magical arrows finally found their mark. Floris collapsed to his knees, shouting at the crew about justice and revenge and all that. Agne decided to blow his head off with a blast of powerful magic to make him shut up. The lifeless body collapsed, and the crew took a moment to recollect themselves.

Myst dragged the old man over, and they asked who he was supposed to be and why he was so well-protected. He told them he was the new adviser to the King, and the crew immediately guessed he was evil. After all, he was an old man but just recently became the adviser, he must have some sort of diabolical plan. He assured them he was just an old man, devoted to King and country, no evil plans here.

So, Myst killed him. Then, Cressen brought him back to life using unholy magic, and they asked again. The adviser committed, saying he really wasn't going to join their evil cause. So, Myst killed him again. This time, they threw his body in the Portable Hole instead of trying any further.

Somewhat dissatisfied, the crew left the tower, heading back out into the city. They saw Mr. Lizard was now battling fiercely with a monstrous earth elemental, destroying much of the city in his wake. Cressen suddenly remembered that Chaos had granted him the ability to speak to and understand Earth Elementals, and recruited this massive being to the group's cause. They named him Rocky.

Next up: the pirate captain with the nicest booty in Garton

The crew headed to the city's docks, where they expected to find some river pirates that might be interested in joining. When they arrived, they found throngs of civilians all trying to get out of the city, while the guards were preventing them from flooding the docks. Even though the crew wasn't particularly interested in helping people, this obvious totalitarian restriction of freedom couldn't stand! The crew rushed forward, cutting down the line of guards and allowing the masses to rush to their ships and escape the city.

They located the ship of the river pirates, captained by the Pirate Anna, whose name coincidentally matched Anna's. Pirate Anna (so called to avoid confusion) quickly agreed to join the forces of chaos, before gathering her crewmates that had been held back by the guards and sailing away.

It was nearly dawn now, and the city of Garton had been reduced to a burning heap of rubble. The crew had killed some old enemies and made plenty of new allies, and they rejoined Mr. Lizard to fly back up to the Skyfortress and retreat. Mr Lizard, the demon elf, and Lucy were already waiting for them.

As they flew upwards, a flash of light appeared before them. Jakky hissed and pulled a fancy rug over his face. Before the group stood a divine being, holding a flaming sword and wearing a blindfold. Cressen immediately recognized this as an aspect of Pholtus, his father. Mr. Lizard swore.

"Hey Cressen." "Hey DAD."

That's where we stopped for this session! It was a lot of fun seeing them explore the city, blowing stuff up, and having a good time. I even streamlined the combats so they only had to fight the major enemies. I think a big part of keeping the pace of a D&D game exciting is building combats correctly. I wrote a little bit about that here, but I could probably write a brand new article about pacing specifically.

Meanwhile, we also did our second Valley of the Lords game this weekend. The group explored a dusty old castle - very dusty. They found much more loot, and seemed happy with their haul. I also had them fight a Specter, which is definitely a dangerous monster against 1st level players. However, the dang guy didn't score a single hit.

I'm starting to think I should write up an intro and sign-off to Valley of the Lords, similar to what they did with the deep-voice guy in the Adventure Zone. That was great.

Anyway, see you next time for more Chaos!

Thanks for reading!