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| Guys, seriously...I told you seven articles ago to stop. |
Greetings! It's me, Will, and this is another installment of Failed Magic Items!
Let us begin!
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Hammer of Nuts and Bolts
Weapon (maul), rare
This poorly constructed and rickety hammer has 5 load-bearing nuts and/or bolts. In addition to dealing an extra 2d6 thunder damage on a hit, each successful attack cause one of these nuts and/or bolts to jostle themselves loose. Upon all nuts and/or bolts falling out, the hammer crumbles to pieces and becomes useless.
This poorly constructed and rickety hammer has 5 load-bearing nuts and/or bolts. In addition to dealing an extra 2d6 thunder damage on a hit, each successful attack cause one of these nuts and/or bolts to jostle themselves loose. Upon all nuts and/or bolts falling out, the hammer crumbles to pieces and becomes useless.
Hat of Disgust
"Wondrous" item, uncommon (requires attunement)This hat is constructed out of a horribly repulsive material and has visible swathes of stink emanating from it. While wearing it, you have -10 penalty to all Charisma ability checks.
Headband of Stupidity
"Wondrous" item, uncommon (requires attunement)
Your Intelligence score is 4 while you wear this headband. It has no effect on you if your Intelligence is already 4 or lower.
Your Intelligence score is 4 while you wear this headband. It has no effect on you if your Intelligence is already 4 or lower.
Helm of Dalliance
"Wondrous" item, very rare (requires attunement)
Once worn, this sultry looking helm cannot be removed by conventional means for 1d4 days.
Once worn, this sultry looking helm cannot be removed by conventional means for 1d4 days.
While wearing this helm, any and every creature of any type within 30 feet who gaze upon it must make a DC 15 Charisma saving throw or be charmed. The charm causes the effected creature to continuously and desperately lust after the helm's wearer. At the end of every 10 minutes, the affected creature may repeat this saving throw. Upon succeeding on this saving throw, the creature is immune to the helm's influence for 30 days and instead finds the wearer severely repulsive, imparting a -8 penalty to Charisma ability checks when dealing with the creature.
Helm of Incomprehensibility
"Wondrous" item, uncommon
While wearing this helm, you babble in indecipherable gibberish. In addition to being unable to communicate in any effective way, all spells with the Verbal component become impossible to cast.
While wearing this helm, you babble in indecipherable gibberish. In addition to being unable to communicate in any effective way, all spells with the Verbal component become impossible to cast.
Helm of Apathy
"Wondrous" item, uncommon (requires attunement)
While wearing this helm, an overwhelming feeling of apathy overcomes you, causing you to become completely disinterested in everything and everyone around you. This imparts the following effects:
While wearing this helm, an overwhelming feeling of apathy overcomes you, causing you to become completely disinterested in everything and everyone around you. This imparts the following effects:
- You gain advantage on saving throws made against the Detect Thoughts spell
- Your Charisma score becomes 6, this has no effect on you if your Charisma is already 6 or lower.
- You have disadvantage on all Insight, Investigation, and Perception checks
Teleporting Helm
"Wondrous" item, rare (requires attunement)
This helm has 3 charges. While wearing it, you can use an action and expend 1 charge to cast the Teleport spell on the helm and the helm alone. The spell sends the helm to a random location within range on the same plane of existence. The helm regains all expended charges daily at dawn.
This backpack has one large central pocket that connects to an extradimensional space. Objects cannot be placed into the backpack, but by using an action to retrieve an item from within the backpack you can pull out a random severed hand. The type of severed hand is determined by the DM by rolling on the Severed Hand Table below.
Severed Hand Table (1d10)
This helm has 3 charges. While wearing it, you can use an action and expend 1 charge to cast the Teleport spell on the helm and the helm alone. The spell sends the helm to a random location within range on the same plane of existence. The helm regains all expended charges daily at dawn.
Horrible Hands in a Haversack
"Wondrous" item, rareThis backpack has one large central pocket that connects to an extradimensional space. Objects cannot be placed into the backpack, but by using an action to retrieve an item from within the backpack you can pull out a random severed hand. The type of severed hand is determined by the DM by rolling on the Severed Hand Table below.
Severed Hand Table (1d10)
- Human
- Dwarf
- Elf
- Halfling
- Orc
- Dragonborn
- Kobold
- Tiefling
- Gnome
- Raksasha
Holey Avenger
Weapon (any sword), very rareThis sword could have at one point been a blade of legendary make, but now appears to just have a bunch of mysterious holes punched in it. Although you gain a +3 to attack rolls with this weapon, you also receive a -3 penalty to damage rolls. Additionally, every time you attack creature or object that is made of metal or is wearing metal armor, you must roll 1d20. On the result of a 1, the structurally weak blade breaks; rendering the sword completely useless.
Corn of Blasting
"Wondrous" item, rare
You can use an action to speak the corn’s command word and then take a bite of the corn. This produces a deafening crunching noise which emits a thunderous blast in a 30-foot cone that is audible 600 feet away. Each creature in the cone and the wielder of the corn must make a DC 15 Constitution saving throw. On a failed save, a creature takes 2d6 thunder damage and is Deafened for 1 minute. On a successful save, a creature takes half as much damage and isn’t Deafened. Creatures and objects made of glass or crystal have disadvantage on the saving throw and instead take 4d6 thunder damage.
Each use of the corn’s magic has a 20 percent chance of causing the corn to explode. The explosion deals 5d6 fire damage to the wielder and creates a shower of slightly-burnt popcorn.
You can use an action to speak the corn’s command word and then take a bite of the corn. This produces a deafening crunching noise which emits a thunderous blast in a 30-foot cone that is audible 600 feet away. Each creature in the cone and the wielder of the corn must make a DC 15 Constitution saving throw. On a failed save, a creature takes 2d6 thunder damage and is Deafened for 1 minute. On a successful save, a creature takes half as much damage and isn’t Deafened. Creatures and objects made of glass or crystal have disadvantage on the saving throw and instead take 4d6 thunder damage.
Each use of the corn’s magic has a 20 percent chance of causing the corn to explode. The explosion deals 5d6 fire damage to the wielder and creates a shower of slightly-burnt popcorn.
Horn of Valerie
"Wondrous" item, rareYou can use an action to blow this horn. In response, the spirit of a woman who identifies herself as "Valerie" appears within 60 feet of you. She then spends the next 1d4 hours droning on about her most recent failed romantic relationship. At the end of this time, Valerie thanks you for listening and you receive advantage on all Wisdom saving throws for 10 minutes. Once you use the horn, it can’t be used again until 7 days have passed.
House Shoes of a Spinster
"Wondrous" item, very rare
These padded, comfy house shoes come in a set of two. While both shoes are affixed to your feet, they impart the following effects...
These padded, comfy house shoes come in a set of two. While both shoes are affixed to your feet, they impart the following effects...
- You immediately age 2d4 x 5 years in appearance only
- You have disadvantage on all Charisma ability checks
- You have advantage on all Animal Handling checks when dealing with cats
These effects end when you remove the house shoes.
Horseshoes of Slowness
"Wondrous" item, rare
These iron horseshoes come in a set of four. While all four shoes are affixed to the hooves of a horse or similar creature, they subject the creature to the effects of the Slow spell. The creature automatically fails the Wisdom saving throw and the spell does not end until the horseshoes are removed.
These iron horseshoes come in a set of four. While all four shoes are affixed to the hooves of a horse or similar creature, they subject the creature to the effects of the Slow spell. The creature automatically fails the Wisdom saving throw and the spell does not end until the horseshoes are removed.
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That's all for this week! Ta-ta for now!
That's all for this week! Ta-ta for now!
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