Friday, May 11, 2018

Failed Magic Items: Dungeon Master's Guide Part 3 (C)

Um... you may not want to touch that.
Hello, magic item hunters! It's actually Jon writing to you this week, Will asked me to sub in for a week. This is the next step in the failed magic item series, which really should have an index or something.

Let's dig in!

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Candle of Aggravation
"Wondrous" item, very rare (requires attunement)

This slender taper is not dedicated to a deity and nobody wants anything to do with it. The candle's magic is activated when the candle is lit. After burning for 4 hours, the candle is destroyed. You can snuff the candle out early for use at a later time. Deduct the time it burned in increments of 1 minute from the candle's total burn time.

While lit, the candle sheds dim light in a 30-foot radius. Any creature within that light must make a DC 17 Charisma saving throw, which they may choose to fail if they wish. If a creature fails its saving throw, it becomes hostile towards any creature it was indifferent towards, and indifferent towards any creature it was friendly towards. The creature may reroll the saving throw at the end of its turn, ending the effect on a success. However, as long as the creature remains within the candle's light, it must make a new saving throw on its turn or be affected once again.

Cap of Air Breathing
"Wondrous" item, uncommon

While wearing this cap in open air, you can speak a command word as an action to create a bubble of water around your head. It allows you to use your gills normally as if you were underwater. This bubble stays with you until you speak the command word again, the cap is removed, or you completely enter the water.


Cape of the Mauntleblank
"Wondrous" item, rare

This cape smells faintly of buttermilk. While wearing it, you can use it to cast the dimension door spell as an action. Doing so causes the spell to only target your clothing, armor, weapons, and equipment, including the cape, depositing them 500 feet away in a direction determined by the DM. The clothing leaves behind a cloud of smoke that lightly obscures the space you are in, which dissipates at the end of your next turn. A light or stronger wind disperses the smoke. Once used, this property of the cape can't be used again until the next dawn.

Carpet of Dyeing
"Wondrous" item, very rare

You can speak the carpet's command word as an action to make this carpet transfer the dye in the stitching to the floor beneath it. This permanently stains the floor beneath the carpet, requiring the use of a Wish spell or Universal Solvent to remove. The carpet's pattern varies, but is usually quite garish and offensive. Once used, the carpet becomes blank and must be dyed before it can be used again.

Censer of Demanding Air Elementals
"Wondrous" item, rare

While incense is burning in this censer, you can use an action to speak the censer’s command word and summon an air elemental, as if you had cast the Conjure Elemental spell. The air elemental has a seemingly unending list of frivolous and often trivial demands that must be completed by you as fast as possible (i.e. holding your breath for a full minute, smelling their farts, etc.). Failure to complete these demands will cause the air elemental to turn hostile toward you and any of your allies. The bowl can’t be used this way again until the next dawn.

This 6-inch-wide, 1-foot-high vessel resembles a chalice with a decorated lid. It weighs 1 pound.

Chime of Closing
"Wondrous" item, rare

This hollow metal tube measures about 1 foot long and weighs 1 pound. You can strike it as an action, pointing it at an object within 120 feet of you that is open, such as a door, lid, or lock. The chime issues a clear tone, and the object closes unless the sound can't reach the object.

The chime can be used ten times. After the tenth time, it cracks and becomes useless.

Circlet of Fasting
"Wondrous" item, uncommon

While wearing this circlet, you do not feel hungry or thirsty. This does not prevent you from dying of thirst or starvation.

Cloak of Black Arachnida
"Wondrous" item, very rare (requires attunement)

This fine garment is made of green silk interwoven with faint silvery threads. If you are attuned to the cloak for the entire duration of an intimate encounter with another humanoid, and you kill and eat that humanoid within 48 hours of the encounter, you gain the following benefits upon the completion of your meal:
  • You have resistance to poison damage.
  • You have a climbing speed equal to your walking speed.
  • You can move up, down, and across vertical surfaces and upside down along ceilings, while leaving your hands free.
  • You can't be caught in webs of any sort and can move through webs as if they were difficult terrain.
  • You can use an action to cast the Web spell (save DC 13). The web created by the spell fills twice its normal area. Once used, this property of the cloak can't be used again until the next dawn.
These benefits fade after 7 days. You can gain them again by having another intimate encounter and killing and eating your partner.


Cloak of Misplacement
"Wondrous" item, rare (requires attunement)

While you wear this cloak, roll a d20 upon the completion of every long rest. You search your person to find the listed item missing. If you do not have an item on your person that would count towards that category, nothing is missing. If the item required attunement, its attunement breaks when it is misplaced.
  1. A non-armor article of clothing
  2. A trinket or keepsake
  3. Any length of rope
  4. A candle, torch, or lantern
  5. A potion or poison
  6. 10 pieces of ammunition
  7. A simple weapon
  8. Up to 10 days worth of rations
  9. A magical scroll
  10. A shield
  11. A magical Rod or Wand
  12. A Tool, Kit, or Instrument
  13. A martial weapon
  14. A magical staff
  15. A magical ring
  16. A set of armor
  17. A magical weapon
  18. A magical set of armor
  19. A wondrous item
  20. Nothing is missing. Roll a d20. On a 20, you wake from your rest to find a pile of objects containing every item that has misplaced due to the cloak since the last time this outcome was rolled. Your DM may add items to the pile that are not yours, but belonged to a previous owner of the cloak.

Cloak of Elevenkind
"Wondrous" item, uncommon (requires attunement)

While attuned to this cloak, you have eleven fingers and eleven toes, no matter how many you had beforehand.

Cloak of Unvisibility
"Wondrous" item, legendary (requires attunement)

While wearing this cloak, people treat you with utter revulsion and do their best to ignore you. They won't allow you to do illegal things or sneak past them, but they will try to resolve the situation as quickly as possible so they don't have to look at you. You make all Charisma ability checks with disadvantage.

Cloak of Perfection
"Wondrous" item, uncommon (requires attunement)

While wearing this cloak, you are under the effect of the following spells: Eyebite, Sympathy, Mind Blank, Foresight, and may cast Shapechange and Gate at will. However, to attune to this item, a creature must have a Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma score of 30 or greater. Otherwise, the attunement fails.

Cloak of the Rat
"Wondrous" item, rare (requires attunement)

While wearing this cloak, you have advantage on Wisdom (Perception) checks that rely on smell. While attuned to the cloak, you become diseased. You can't regain hit points except by magical means, and your hit point maximum decreases by 3 (1d6) every 24 hours. If your hit point maximum drops to 0 as a result of the disease, you die.

If you make a bite attack against another creature, they must succeed on a DC 10 Constitution saving throw or become diseased as well. Your bite is considered an unarmed attack.

Cloak of the Uncle Ray
"Wondrous" item, uncommon

While wearing this cloak with the hood up, strangers will mistake you for their Uncle Ray. Upon inspection of your appearance, however, they will realize their mistake and awkwardly apologize. The NPC may realize afterwards that they don't have an Uncle Ray at all. If multiple NPCs are encountered at once, they will each see their own version of Uncle Ray.

Crystal Bass
"Wondrous" item, very rare or legendary (requires attunement)

This wall-mounted fish is composed of pure crystal. When a creature approaches the bass within a radius of 10 feet, it bursts into song. The song is an inane shanty about living on a river.

The Crystal Bass has a legendary variant, which has an additional property. When a legendary Crystal Bass begins singing, the song is so banal and terrible that it acts as an Antipathy spell (save DC 18), and the radius of the song increases to 60 feet.

Cube of Farce
"Wondrous" item, rare (requires attunement)

This cube is about an inch across. Each face has a distinct marking on it that can be pressed. The cube starts with 36 charges, and it regains 1d20 expended charges daily at dawn.

You can use an action to press one of the cube's faces, expending a number of charges based on the chosen face, as shown below. Each face has a different effect. If the cube has insufficient charges remaining, nothing happens. Otherwise, the listed effect occurs. Any effect created by the cube lasts for 1 minute, until you use an action to press the cube's sixth face, or the cube runs out of charges.

  • Face 1: (1 charge) The cube emits a loud farting sound and smells terrible.
  • Face 2: (2 charges) The cube causes the nearest flower within 30 feet of the cube to emit a harmless jet of water.
  • Face 3: (3 charges) A false mustache appears on the face of every creature within 30 feet of the cube. It has no affect on the creature other than its appearance, and the creature can use their action to remove the mustache.
  • Face 4: (4 charges) A banana peel appears beneath the feet of a creature within 30 feet of the cube, forcing the creature to make a DC 13 Dexterity saving throw. On a failure, the creature slips and becomes prone.
  • Face 5: (5 charges) A pie composed mostly of whipped cream flies out of thin air, targeting a creature within 30 feet of the cube. The creature must succeeded on a DC 13 Dexterity saving throw or be blinded. The target or another creature can use their action to wipe off the pie and end the effect.
  • Face 6: (0 charges) All effects created by the cube end.


Rubik Gate
"Wondrous" item, legendary

This cube is 3 inches across and radiates palpable magical energy. The sides are composed of nine small squares of various colors, but you believe it might be possible to re-arrange the squares by twisting the cube, so that the cube's sides are each composed of a single color of squares.

Rearranging the cube in such a fashion requires a creature to spend ten downtime days fiddling with the cube. At the end of the ten days, the creature must make a DC 17 Intelligence (Investigation) check. If the check succeeds, the cube casts Plane Shift (save DC 17) on the creature and the nearest eight creatures within 60 feet of the cube, transporting them to the orderly plane of Mechanus. While on this plane, the cube cannot be rearranged in any manner short of a wish spell. Upon leaving the plane, the cube immediately shuffles itself back into its random order.

Each time a particular creature completes the cube and casts the spell, the amount of downtime days required to activate the cube decreases by 1. After 10 activations, the time required to complete the cube is 10 minutes and cannot be decreased further.

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That's all for this week! I really like this series. It's a great thing to read while I prep for the madness that will be Mordenkainen's Tome of Foes.

Thanks for reading!

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